i know i say these things often. but a refrain that feels true in my bones is worth repeating, so this is my chorus:
there is no such thing as an unimportant person or an unimportant life.
grief. pain. questions. community. healing. hope. these things matter + they’re worth talking about.
we all live with questions + scars + things that haunt us. we struggle to let go, or we tire of holding on. sharing the heavy stuff can be hard. but we can find connection in vulnerability, in being honest about our pain.
pain is real, pain can be blinding, but hope + help + recovery are very real things too. you are worth fighting for. you, who can feel brave + broken + hopeful + fearful all at once.
you matter, and your story matters, and you are not alone.
if you’re struggling with your mental health, you’re not alone. some good resources: @crisistextline @twloha @trevorproject @800273TALK @hopefortheday 1-800-273-8255
flowers + moderate temperatures #tbt
@rayezaragoza has a new live EP! it was recorded at @rockwoodmusichall and features a fantastic new song called “warrior,” plus solo acoustic versions of three songs from previous releases. it’s premiering over on her profile now - check it out and add some awesomeness to your day! then come back here and tell me your favorite track : )
this almost made up for the fact that it was 5°F with a -16°F windchill when i got up 🥶
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
- Mary Oliver, from “In Blackwater Woods”
#tbt to 4:46pm
last night i got to celebrate my birthday in the best way i could imagine. first photographing a packed @rayezaragoza show at my favorite venue in nyc @rockwoodmusichall, then post-show spending time with a room full of the inspirational, wonderful humans who make this city feel like home. raye + the gang also surprised my birthday neighbor @mattmarlinski + i with cupcakes that were kaitlin-friendly!
i think it says something about how present we collectively were in the moment that none of us remembered to take photos. to be so engaged in the moment as to forget to document it. fortunately @jwu31 did catch the crew surprising us with cupcakes, so here’s a clip of the bday kids looking both terribly embarrassed + very happy. thank you to all the folks near + far that made it a day of being present + smiling a whole lot.
the clocks + calendars flow into the new year, light as air + i envy their ability to carry nothing more than the present with them. for us the past is not so easily shed.
this reckoning with the things we carry, it can feel like both a burden and a blessing. it’s the contrast we all live + breathe + wrestle. our hearts + minds + bodies are the scrapbooks of our lives, and although we don't always get to pick what happens to us, we don't get to pick every addition to our scrapbooks, we have some say in how we read and respond to the entries. in a life full of uncertainty + unexpectedness + unanswered questions, that’s surely something.
2018 was a year of intense contrast. blinding light + blinding darkness. for me it was a year more heavy than light. in years past, this is perhaps where i would say i am glad my clocks + calendars are moving into a new season. this year, i think the season remains the same. today ends, then today begins. the slow surgery of working through the heavy things, the broken things, remains. the unexpected moments of joy remain.
i carry some things i wish i could discard like old receipts, but for years now i have also carried this word on my arm, an intentional entry to my corporeal scrapbook. i bear this word on my arm, but at times i think it's more appropriate to say that it carries me. here's to today + the todays to follow. i hope they hold more sun than shadow for you.